Do I Really Like What I Do??

I was talking to a friend back home, as a frequently do, and she told me, "Bethany, are you happy there? It just seems like you're really depressed every time I talk you you."

Now, these may not be the words you're looking for when you talk to your best friend, but then again, if they are your best friend and they know you well, they should be able to tell if something is really wrong, right?

The problem with this, cross-culturally, is that ministry is messy. I'm good. I (most of the time) love Argentina. Now, God didn't promise moving here was going to be easy. In fact, he said quite the opposite when said he was sending his disciples out as sheep among wolves (Luke 10:3).

But just because I'm living in a "Christian" nation doesn't mean all my thoughts and ideas are welcomed and accepted. Being a North American is not necessarily a good thing here, and working alongside my brothers and sisters here has a sandpaper like effect here. It rubs some people the wrong way. While I'm praying it has a smoothing affect, right now it is painful.

I see hints of prosperity gospel. Authoritative leaders. A lack of faith. And because of the politics of the Church (yes, that exists here,) I can't just fix it.

But what has God shown me in this? Or rather reminded me of? That the church is still all sinners, and we all need Jesus.

I have seen so much good in my last year. Praise be to God. I have heard stories of missionaries who leave the field without physically seeing fruit in their term, but that does NOT mean God wasn't working. It just means the work is hard. It is painful. We (hopefully) put all of our heart into these people, these churches because we so want for them to seek God, and when they don't it pains us. It is ALL for an eternal value. If it wasn't I wouldn't be here. Anything less than eternal is in vain. My heart aches when people don't want to get together to study not because my feelings are hurt (that initally happened, but I'm over it now) but because I fear they're losing out on the promises of God.

So am I depressed? Not in the least bit. Do I like what I do? Absolutely. Do I LOVE what I do? There are some things I'd change, but I can't change Argentina ;) nor can I change America. My citizenship is in heaven and I'd have it no other way.